*This piece contains information about social media and bullying.
**This article is geared towards people who are working &/or trying to gain a social media presence, however, the ultimate goal is to make EVERYONE think about how they interact online.
Today I want to write about something that has really been on my mind a lot lately. However, I am aware that by stating my opinions, I might get some hate. There might be people who don't agree with my opinions, and that's A-OK. Just please, lets keep this a polite discussion. Aka: Constructive Criticism doesn't contain the words "You're stupid" or any other words someone unkind might use. Just be considerate while you make your point.
The Follow/Unfollow method
If you are someone who participates in the living, breathing organism we call "Social Media" then you probably know what I'm talking about. This method can be employed all over social media whether on Facebook, Twitter or Youtube, but the place I have seen it so prevalent is on Instagram. Perhaps because, that is where I spend the majority of my time and create the majority of my content, but I digress.
If you are unfamiliar with the Follow/Unfollow method, it's a genius little method that goes something like this: Person A Follows you, and then you get an automatic notification from Instagram that you have a new follower (feels good, hu?) Then there's this convenient little button (which only perpetuates this method) that says "FOLLOW BACK". So, you can either decide to follow or not. Hit the button!!!!...or not.
You decide (due to the enormous pressure!) to hit that button. Then, Person A Unfollows you (hurts, hu?). Now you may notice or you may not, its a gamble to Person A. Its a gamble worth taking though to this person because they just duped you into Following them and their number of followers is now brilliantly increased by............1. Paaaarty time for Person A!
Honest Questions
Did you WANT to follow Person A?
Did you even look at their page?
Do they have content you are interested in?
Do they post content at all?
Did you just hit the button to be "nice" or "supportive"?
How to do you feel now that you've realized they unfollowed you the second you followed them? ...Ouch!
Will you unfollow them back?
Will you block them if they keep doing this over and over?
Will you confront them on the fact that they unfollowed you and how dare they?!
What. Will. You. Do?
A Numbers Game
OK, this may seem a little bit dramatic but...this is the world of Social Media on a daily basis for anyone who is trying to gain followers for whatever reason. Here's the sad truth of it;
WE NEED FOLLOWERS.
Unless you are on Instagram without a care in the world and without any physical, emotional, practical or monetary goals in mind, YOU need followers!
Most people WORKING on Social Media, either own their own business or trade, or they are "Influencers". An Influencer is someone who works on a project basis with a brand to help with PR and promotion to "influence" what the public ultimately buys from that brand. It is a numbers game.
Without X amount of followers a brand will not want to work with you. Furthermore, the higher amount of followers you have, the more "reach" you are said to have, and the more "influence" over your audience. The more influcence you have, the more product your promotions will sell and the more you can charge as an influencer for your work. That is just how it is. We cannot blame the brands for this, they just want results for what they pay.
For some people, working on social media is a part time gig, its supplemental. For others, they just want recognition and free stuff. For others, it is their very livelihood, which without, they cannot pay their bills or put food in their fridge. I am here to say, whichever boat you are in, I understand. I get it.
No matter the reason for your NEED of FOLLOWERS, who is to blame for how we play this "numbers game" we play? Do we blame ourselves? No, of course not. We end up blaming each other...but I'll get to that more in a lil bit!!
Trains, Loops and Groups
I'll be honest when I say, I truly DO get annoyed with the follow/unfollow method. It's been employed on me more times than I can count. Especially as part of the beauty community. It runs rampant! Rampant I tell you!
I also like to participate in "Follow Loops" and "Trains" where everyone who's part of it, follows everyone... (and then they sometimes unfollow too. Ha!).
I can definitely be found guilty of just following everyone who followed me or following everyone in a train or loop or group without mind to who I was actually following, or of what their content really consisted.
Here is some food for thought
What if Person X follows you, and you blindly follow them back and don't have a clue what their content is?
What if then, a brand you are dying to work with is looking over your account?
They are looking at your followers AND who you are following back. They are trying to get a sense of who you are as a person.
What if they then, notice that Person X has some very well....um..."unsavory" to say the least, photos posted on their page?
Now, what if, the brand decides they'd rather not be associated with someone who follows and is followed by this type of person?
Person X is so outside of their target audience, now they are turned off from working with YOU!
In this case, having that extra follower may have just LOST you a job. Think long and hard about that one!
Time to Clean
What I've started finding is that now, because I follow so many people, I don't always see the people whose content I really, truly, enjoy and want to see and support! I feel like I should do a clean-up of my Instagram. It will be a brave thing to do because I might loose quite a few followers in the process. I will have to truly examine some accounts, and see if the content is really what I am interested in and if the people running the accounts are people with whom I want to be associated.
Because, the other thing social media is about besides content is...PEOPLE!
It is OK if not EVERYONE likes you AND, it is OK if you do not like EVERYONE!
Support Groups
I am all about being supportive. I love a good "Support Group" filled with like-minded people who can share their posts and help lift each other up!
This is what a "SUPPORT GROUP" is supposed to do.
Leave the pettiness. Leave the drama.
Supporting each other is great. However, again, if you don't like some of my content, I don't expect you to "like" all my photos. If I don't like some of your content, it should be OK if I don't "like" all of yours.
I feel like we have sometimes confused "support" with just blindly following and "liking" pictures that we are going to state the same exact copy & paste style comments to over and over. Eventually, this looks very fake and ingenuine.
In the long run, those empty comments don't really mean anything.
I am NOT trying to bash support groups in any way! I guess my point is to really look at a persons content and think about what you really like about it, and then tell them! Engage. Ask a question if you have one. If you can think of a way they can improve next time, share it in a nice, constructive way.
Leave comments to each other that are thought out and not just obligatory.
Trust me, this is something I myself am trying to work on too! REAL ENGAGEMENT with REAL PEOPLE! Because this is what I value. No robots please*
Jealousy and Bullying
This is something that just should not be tolerated, for any reason.
Not all, but a lot of bullying comes from a place of jealousy.
I am here to say, if you are jealous of someone, ask yourself, Why?
"Why? Oh Why? When you are so awesome?"
Seriously though, there are people I have followed since the beginning when I started, and they have followed me. We have supported each other along this journey. I have seen some of them sky rocket in followers!! I am in awe! However, when I asked myself how and why they had so many followers, I realized "Oh, yeah, duh...it's because they have awesome content!" They earned it! Instead of getting jealous or mad or trying to blame anyone but myself, I decided to tell myself,
"Hey girl, you need to step it up a notch!"
I decided to let others success motivate me instead of intimidate me. Therefore, I am here to tell you, if you do not like your numbers, try and worry less about them and worry more about what content you are producing. If you keep working hard and produce content that is "must see" content, then you eventually will gain followers, and followers who are loyal!
Whether it stems from jealousy, ignorance or sadness, bullying is never OK. No one deserves hate and disrespect. If you see or know of someone getting bullied online, stick up for them. Or, at least private message them and ask if they are OK!
Remember: If you post it, add to it, like it, follow it or ignore it---you are participating in the bullying.
I can understand being disappointed that Person A unfollowed you, or, maybe even blocked you because you didn't follow them back. I get the disappointment.
Does that give you the right to emotionally attack someone?
To slander the name they have built for themselves?
To post images of hate dedicated to them?
To create a wall of their face and type things you wouldn't dare say to them in person?
When does this behavior end?
When has it gone too far?
People will say awful things while hiding behind a keyboard.
People will say things with their thumbs that they wouldn't dare utter with their lips!
A quote posted recently by Tati Westbrook @glamlifeguru on Instagram, states:
Just a Reminder, there are not 2 of you. Internet you, and Real you. There is just one real you. Which means, if you are not kind on the Internet, you are not kind.
I 100% believe this.
Think about who you are. Think about who you want to be. Think about the people you want to follow you, and think about the people you want to follow. It can honestly make all the difference in the world.
Thank you for reading.
By: Stephanie Cruz
On Instagram @stephykross & @stephsweetandsavory
Facebook Page as Stephy Kross
Youtube as Stephy Kross
